The final 3? (NaPoWriMo Day 28, 29 & 30)

As per prompts go, it’s the end of National Poetry Writing Month! As per my writing goes, I still have a couple of poems to write to fully complete the month. Well, hasn’t it been a ride this April. Almost completing the whole writing challenge is a whole deal for me. Yes, I missed a couple of days but I persevered and wrote as much as I can. I may not deserve to feel this proud just yet (I mean, there are still 4-5 poems I’ve gotta write), but I do. Anyway, the prompt on the 28th was to write about an object thats to the left of where you’re sitting, and next t me happens to be a tumbler. So that is the poem prompt #28 gave rise to:

The tumbler stands tall despite it’s small frame

Assisting children and the elderly alike

And everyone in between

To drink what their hearts desire

But when thrown to the ground in anger

Or even by mistake

The strike of the ground hurts

The tumbler in it’s stainless steel glory

Remains as is

Serving silently (unless dropped to the ground)

And doing it’s duty.
~

Prompt 29 was to pick a tagline of any advertisement, and use that as the title of your poem. I did that quite literally, and decided to begin and end my poem with the tagline. I believe the company that uses this tagline is fairly obvious, so I won’t state which it is 😛 So here’s the poem instead:

Because you’re worth it.

You’re worth being understood

Having all the walls, curtains, masks

Covering your soul

To be pulled apart by careful and tender fingers

With no sketchy intentions.

You’re worth all the love in the world

Enough to carry you from the depths of your mind

High enough to see the light that every one else sees

Emanating from your eyes

And every inch of your sparkling being.

You’re worth everything you think you don’t deserve

What you think you can never

Achieve

Do

or

Create

Cause human

Everyone is learning everyday

And as cliched as it may sound

You’re soon going to be accepted, loved and found

Someday

Because you’re worth it.
~

And now to the final prompt of NaPoWriMo 2017 by Airplane Poetry Movement. It was the word ‘Endless’. I decided to look at the word in slightly different manner, I hope you understand the meaning of the poem, and what it stands for. That’s all i want to say about, interpret it as you please.

Without further ado, here is my response to prompt #30:

The moon orbiting the Earth

Reminds me of my feelings for you.

Twice I wished to pull away

And once I did

But it was all marked by the same outcome.

I’m stuck in the same place.

And when your face lights up,

A smile crosses mine as well

Not only because of my feelings for you,

Because you’re my friend too

And losing you is the last thing I’d ever want

For us two.

Our friendship

Will remain as endless and as strong

As the gravity that keeps the moon and Earth together

Floating and revolving and rotating

Living our own lives, but being there for one another

And still far enough

For me to let you go,

And find my way back to you again.

with feelings purely platonic,

and nothing else.
~

(Photo taken from http://awesomejelly.com/7-strange-things-that-have-been-left-on-the-moon/)

Never Slack Off This Much

So, I wasn’t in the mood to write a poem on the 12th. And I wasn’t able to come up with something, so I decided I’d work on it the next day. This continued and continued, until today – which is the 23rd. And I’m so mad at myself. Geez. But I did promise myself that I would complete NaPoWriMo for sure, so I’ve written a weeks worth of poems in this post. The next post will contain the rest of the poems I missed – so here they are!

Day #12 Prompt: “I come from”
I come from places
Filled with happiness and pain
Places where despite the loss
I’ve always had something I gained
Places where the tears
Sometimes outdid the laughs
But that only taught me to laugh harder
With everything that happens
Living everyday, and embracing the past.

Day #13 Prompt: “Newspaper Headlines”
Newspaper headlines 
Strike me when I stare at the dead tree in my hands 
They stare back at me 
Just like puppies eyeing the last treat. 
The few times I read the paper 
They are all I look at 
And they make
Me feel 
Even 
More 
Sad 
Knowing that the world we live in 
Is riddled with things that I don’t have the power to change
So I ignore today’s headlines 
And sit back. 

Day #14 Prompt: Write an acrostic poem (Ps. WAS MY BIRTHDAY!!) 
Bald and very small 
I probably looked at the world and
Retched, wondering why it wasn’t so dark anymore but, since
Then there have been many days where the light became a friend
Having given me memories I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world 
Days like today remind me of the love I’m surrounded by 
A single day that made me feel like I was home 
Yes, home in hearts. 

Day #15 Prompt: Write about anything I want to write about.
Almost 
Saw
Myself 
In 
Your 
Arms 
But 
Remembered 
Distance 
Was 
Just 
As 
Physical 
As 
It 
Was 
Mental 
And 
I
Had 
To 
Keep 
It
That 
Way. 

Day #16: Write a poem in the POV of your favourite superhero.
Water keeps me calm 
Just as fire does, which took me a while to understand 
The earth as strong as my intention 
Which sometimes falters, 
Leaving me gasping. 
But when that does happen 
I breathe. 
My primary element fills my lungs 
And I learn to balance. 
I am the Avatar, 
And the world rests on my shoulders. 

Day #17: Write a poem about myself.
S*****A
A girl who cries every ounce of emotion out of her 
Whether it’s happiness, anger or sadness
Stuck stumbling in the daze of life 
Still finding her calling 
Still finding herself 
Still looking past the cracks 
Her voice makes 
The laughter that she sometimes fakes 
And trying to be the best of what she can be.

Day #18: Write a poem on the word ‘Dirty’. 
Splash! 
The rain batters the ground 
And there’s that beautiful sound all around 
The pitter-patter of rain drops 
And then 
Splash! 
I jump into all the puddles I see 
Coating my self in a thin layer of mud 
Before I am cleansed again by the onslaught of water 
Emerging from the giggling skies 
Full of life 
And  I sigh
I embrace the freeing feeling of nature 
Cleansing my soul, discarding the dirt 
I carried around on my skin and in my heart 
And I put my own peace first 
By just standing in the rain.

(Ps. Photo taken from http://anyaboz.deviantart.com/art/Persian-Cat-Room-Guardian-390915035)
(P.Ps. The cat is very exasperated with me. It’s a reflection of my inner-self right now.)

Stones and Nuts (NaPoWriMo Day 9 & 10)

Yesterday’s prompt was questions. Again, I couldn’t post on time. (Much thanks to procrastination and last minute preparations.) This is what I could come up with this time:

Questions

Swirling around

Always found

But never making any sound

As I keep them underground

At the very base of my throat

Cause sometimes

Sometimes

I’d rather keep them there

Than have them curl against my tongue

And listen to words that I’d rather not hear

So they stay

Where they are

Sediments and sediments turn into rock

Leaving wounds that eventually scar

And I forget just how far

deep within fossils are found

In the ground.

So even if I wanted to,

(Heh.)

I can’t make a sound.

Today’s prompt was to write a love letter to something you hate, and yes I hate Cashew Nuts. I know they’re favourite to many, but when you’re allergic to something you’re generally not that pleased with it. Anyway, here’s my poem on cashews. Hope you enjoy! (Ps. I feel like it’s a pretty shitty love letter, but I tried.)

To the best friend I’ve always had,

The Cashew nut.

You’re present in almost every dish at home

Paysa, curries and even bloody curd rice

I can go on for days

Trying to pick you out of everything I eat

So that my throat doesn’t itch

And feel like there’s an elephant sitting on my tongue.

Oh, and the dreaded Cashew Burfi

Everyone’s favourite,

You linger on the tip of their lips

Begging them for yet another kiss

While I groan and hiss

Cause you’ve caught them under your spell

And thanks to that

They won’t stop asking why I can’t love you as much as well.

(Image taken from http://sf.co.ua/id146474)

Release

I’m annoyed. As an aspiring author and poet – nothing sucks more than no inspiration. It claws at my insides, knowing that I have a perfectly abled vocabulary and a mind to match – but simply cannot pen anything down. I could blame so many things for this – but it only seems like blaming myself is the right thing to do. Cause that’s what makes sense right? It’s my fault for turning into this person.

My initial hurdle with blogging was being prompt. I used the daily prompts to the maximum – trying to post when ever I could. Alas, that ‘whenever’ was very erratic. It bugged me extensively, but that’s what ensued.

The next hurdle? Feeling like I was posting for someone else, not for me. Feeling like the content I published was restricted. Therefore I made another blog, which vastly contrasted my other one. I loved both dearly, but found it more enticing to post on the latter. I could write what I wanted, without having to meet anyone’s expectations but my own. This year – I merged the two blogs on 13th September – a huge event in my life. I felt as though a part of me was missing, because my old blog was with me from 2011. When I was a wee middle schooler. Even though I transferred all of the content, there are something’s that will never be the same. Overall, I did feel more content and lighter than I had for over two years. An added bonus – it’s easier managing one blog rather than two 😛

My problem now? Is that I’m not feeling any motivation to write at all. It’s probably cause I’m busy with my studies and all the little things that tend to distract teenagers now days. I feel like the spark has been sucked out me. No feeling to do anything. Even if I do think of something – I end up thinking of all the extra work I’ll have to do to get it done. Or how I’m incapable of doing it – due to my various shortcomings.

Pessimistic thinking is one thing that has the capability to disarm you and place you stark naked on the hard, cold ground. Also, pessimism is an easy egg to hatch. It’s almost as if Pandora’s Box is unleashed once you get used to believing that your faults control you – you will never believe that you can ever change for the better again.

Your world is doomed.

Your happiness is phony. It doesn’t touch you.

You lose direction in your life.

Every single decision is made after hundreds of doubts and questions.

You start to see nothing magnificent in the things you used to love.

Everything turns aimless.

It’s such a bother to feel like this. Doing everything mechanically. Without any coherent thoughts, or the inability to make sense of the world around you.

Complaining doesn’t get anyone anywhere, but sometimes it’s the best release of all the pent up frustration and anger. At least it’s healthier than breaking things. But it drains you and adds on to the feeling of pity and worthlessness you feel for yourself.

I have tried to not succumb to this rigid and conformist way of living – but it’s now a part of me. Letting go of anything is hard, even if it’s the thing that breaks you down continuously.

I want to get rid of this life. I want to be free from it. I want to feel that ‘spark’ inside me, slowly igniting my soul into fiery passion. Promises are just words said, until action proves otherwise. I have spoken so many words that are now nothing but false promises – and now I want to change. I’m sick of the kind of person I’ve become. I want to be my own superhero before it’s too late. I need to be my own superhero.

I will be my own hero.

Starting right here, right now.

(Photo courtesy: freewallpaperfullhd.com)

“Beyond Uncertainty Lies Initiative”

Hello guys! I missed out on yesterdays writing challenge – having to prep for my exam today. Whoop whoop, first term complete. *insert check mark emoji* Here starts another term of sleepy, exuberant and silly days. Coupled with learning (of course) and some friendly mishaps along the way.

Moving on, I’ve decided to combine yesterday and today’s prompt. (Indigenous, I know.) While yesterday’s prompt focuses on making a list, today we have to chose one of 6 words presented to us and create a post around it. I’ve chosen the word ‘Uncertainty‘.  And the list topic I’ve chosen – ‘Things I’ve learnt‘. Without further ado, here is my response to the two writing challenges 🙂

Things I’ve learnt through being uncertain: 
– It leads to procrastination
– It leads to hesitation
– It leads to undermining of own self
– It leads to the understanding of one’s own being
– It leads to divergent thinking
– It leads to that ‘Eureka!’ moment
– It leads to action
– It leads to experience
– It leads to knowledge
– It leads to satisfaction

I know from experience, that uncertainty is a major block to many tasks. Let it be pursuing a new hobby, looking for colleges, planning your future, making new friendships – everything has a hint of uncertainty and apprehension towards it.

‘Uncertain’ is defined as something not known or definite; not being confident or sure of something. It is definitely a negative feeling, but it does have it’s positive outcomes – I suppose that’s what pushes us forward. Taking a chance may be frightening, but it is thrilling at the same time. It motivates us to better the person we are, to learn more and to experience more. As a commonly heard proverb states, there is nothing more certain than uncertainty. We never know what life is going to throw at us, – but it up to us as to how we deal with it, and how we let it affect us.

(Picture credit: picturequotes.com)

“I Write Because…”

To start off, I’d like to go back to 2011 – when I first stared my blog. It was another one, different from this. At the time, it was my dream to become an author or a journalist. It still is a distant dream of mine – which I hope to achieve some day. So, I created that blog with the help of my father – to publish my musings and all the random bits and pieces of prose in my mind.

The problem with me is that I’m a procrastinator. And I’m to constantly keep myself motivated to work, else I’ll fail to keep my attention – and believe me, it’s frustrating. Extremely frustrating. So I was not a frequent blogger, and I utilised my blog for a whole two years. In that course of time, I got into photography as well. Most of my blog’s posts were to showcase my photos. (I’ve transferred the content of my old blog on to this one, so you can go through my pictures if you’d like.)

Back to the point, here comes 2013. I believe it was October – and that’s when i decided to make another blog. And that’s the blog you’re reading this post on, right now. It was an extension of my feelings, the changes I underwent. Once again, I wasn’t every frequent – but I turned out to be happier on this blog. It showed the world who I am. Although consisting of fewer followers and posts when compared to my other blog, I felt more free here. Euphoric even, to be able speak exactly what was on my mind without too much of a filter.

So to answer today’s writing prompt from Blogging University’s Writing 101 Course – I write to express. To express, the fathoms of my mind and soul. It’s an art to me, where I’m able to paint a picture with words, describing what I’d like to convey. The brilliance of it, is that the perception of anything written always varies. Especially when it comes to poetry (something that I love) – when the reader tries to understand the poets thoughts, emotions – just by reading lines structured beautifully. It’s interesting to hear the method at which people arrive to conclusions, the way they comprehend what has been written, the way they embrace the words presented to them. Sometimes the meaning is right under their noses, sometimes they’re required to read in between the lines. In all it’s exhilarating to experience.

I feel as though I don’t have the right to answer this prompt, because I’ve kept writing off for ages. Academics, friends, life – the list of reasons go on, but they’re all excuses. Enrolling in the Writing 101 course is a sort of trial I have to pass, in order to redeem myself in my own eyes. I want my writing to be that part of me that always has me going, reaching, running and hoping to be the best at what I enjoy. The best I can possibly be.

I now write – to keep myself grounded to the person I was, the person I am and the person I will be.

(Image courtesy: tumblr)

I’m here today

I stand here today

With my thoughts in my hands

With all of them squirming to be free

And with I – watching with distaste and anger

As they leap away

Leaving my mind an empty cloud

Drifting and wandering

Towards the dark that I’m afraid of

Succumbing to the thoughtless haze

I stumble forward in a ditzy daze

Falling into a pit I’ve dreaded so far

Where my insecurities merrily blaze.

(Image source: Wikipedia)

The Lone Wolf

Hello!
Today’s poetry challenge hopes to incorporate animals, concrete poetry and enjambment. I hope i have done justice to these three poetry tools! Ps. Can anyone guess the shape the words make up? I know it’s not very complex, but it was exactly what I was feeling when I was writing the poem down. Enjoy 🙂

Well.

I was having a pretty crappy day.
Until I got a little bit of motivation from someone I’ve never met.
I guess it feels good to be heard once in a while,
To help us remember that at being what we want to be – we are the best.
^_^

(Poetry by Lang Leav, I do not own rights to this picture. I found it on the net :P)

I’m Not Fine At All

There are those people, that you never thought you’d ever lose. Those people, who you thought would be with you till the very end. Those people, that you believed in.

But life’s no fairy tale. It demands for you to wake up from your day dreams and accept that as time progresses – some things are bound to happen. Even if they hurt like crazy, and you’re not the one at fault. Keeping yourself okay at that point off time is obviously heart wrenching and impossible. Or so you think.

You’re forced to walk around like you’re completely fine, like the demons within yourself are not clawing you alive. You want to reach out to the person, to hug them and apologise to get them back in your life.

Yet, you fight this urge back.

You know that this person now loathes your existence. You’re not an important part of their life anymore. And maybe unconsciously – Your ego is holding you back. You can’t fall into their arms again begging for their affection.

“I wish that could wake up with amnesia, and forget about these stupid little things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you. And the memories I never can escape – Cause I’m not fine at all.” – Amnesia, 5 Seconds Of Summer